Monday, June 13, 2011

Johnny Cash, The Republican Debate & A Pizza Loving Muslim Hater.

Here is my quick analysis of each of the Republicans in tonight's debate:

Ron Paul: "Hey, I wanted to leave you alone before it was cool... You people on this stage aspire to be as awesome as me."

Michele Bachman: "I am mother to a bunch of kids, an attention monger, and am ready to split the Republian Party in 2 by how much I name drop the TEA Party!!!" As a side note, how in the Hell can a person say the like Elvis and Johnny Cash equally!?!? Johnny Cash was so much more awesome.

Mitt Romney: "Listen, I am only for the government expanding it's power if it is done on the state level. By the way, if you couldn't tell, I talk good."

Herman Cain: "You mistakenly quoted me as saying "I hate Muslims", when I actually implied that I would would just ask them different questions than Christians when they interview for a job... Oh yeah. I like deep dish pizza."

Tim Pawlenty: "You know, I agree with Ron Paul on a lot of things... except the things I don't."

Newt Gingrich: "Hey guys, my positions are so nuanced that I lack a spine and will compromise with whomever you want! I am relevant, damn it!"

Rich Santorum: "dum... dumm. dummm."

BTW... Here is a poll where all the Ron Paul crazies (including myself) voted and said he won the debate.

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